I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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