The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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