Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
