I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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