I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
