Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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