I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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