I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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