You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
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Actions speak louder than pants.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
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I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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