what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
