I can tuck mytits in my pants
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
