I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
