I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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