what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
