I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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