Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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