Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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