shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Text me some of your sweat
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
