he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
