Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
