His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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