Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
