TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
