Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Dicks are not precious.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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