OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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