i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
operation have a gay friend backfired
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
