I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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