I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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