the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
