I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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