He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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