Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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