I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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