no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
