the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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