I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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