We're facebook friends in real life
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
