Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
