Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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