No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
