i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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