Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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