you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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