she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
