To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
