i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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