yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
