She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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