im gay
i know
yea but for you.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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