just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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