Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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