I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
