The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize