Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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