she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
