I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Randomize
