i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
