I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
