dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
