I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
