bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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