did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize