The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
