put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
