What a fucking waste of an outfit
he puts the penis in happiness.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
