I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize