is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
