you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
